Anklet of Ownership

I stand naked in the shower, washing away the homeless look in my hair and tension in my back. As I shave the pokey stubble on my legs, I see that there is a tan line beneath my friendship bracelet around my ankle. The distinction of color caused by sun and time, makes me smile. It is the only item that adorns my naked body, it is the only item that remains on my physical body at all times.

I made this friendship bracelet by myself choosing the colors that my eyes are drawn to. Yellow, blue and orange, earth toned, their vibrancy is mellowed by depth and possibly dirt.

As I placed it on my leg, I thought of the day I was born. Did they place my name tag on my little ankle or wrist? It was the first accessory that adorned my little naked body as I entered this earth. It claimed whom I belonged to, the time I arrived and the date. It was my first printed ticket to start my journey.

My anklet is another printed ticket but this one I made, gave and put on myself. It remains my printed ticket, with words constantly being added to it. It has my name on it, a gentle whisper that spells out “me”, it does not carry the name of another. It has every current date on it, as I feel a new part of myself is born every day. It has no track of time but seasons, moments,the galaxies and a cup of tea.

I felt compelled to claim myself. To have a visible attachment on my body that reminds me that I belong to me. Even the marriage ring that I have worn constantly for 12 years had to be placed aside. I am ever faithful to my marriage but I needed the physical freedom to not wear an attachment that claims that I belong to someone. The tan line faded fast, there is no indentation where the ring used to sit. After 12 years my body seemed to carry no reminder of the physical display of belonging to another. Claiming the name and date when this ticket started for this journey called marriage. The journey continues and yet I have no desire to wear a band of ownership, I am not giving ownership to another, I am offering companionship along the way. I feel needed to only have that band of ownership, between myself.


I have been given many tickets, names, dates and times printed out and placed on me, “this is your journey and since you hold the ticket then you must belong to these worlds.”

I have never belonged to any of the destinations my tickets bound me to. From the first anklet, with my parents names on it, my ticket for family, childhood, education, religion, relationships, purpose and meaning. I have held the tickets and traveled the journeys but I have not belonged. They have never been my destination. Their God, their cultures, their connections and purpose have never led me home. I have my tickets of motherhood and marriage that have brought me to incredible destinations but my home is not in them. I hold the tickets but I am learning not to be bound to their destinations.

And as I stand naked, gazing at my ankle bracelet of ownership with myself, I smile at my ticket with only my name on it. A bit baffled and happy because thus far, wherever we travel, it always feels like home.